Still Here.

I am still alive. With the birth of my foal, sporatic (as in one nice day, six poopy ones!) spring, trying to get my garden dug up and sudden notice I need to cover two more mail routes, stat!  I have been a bit off balance.

I did decide to commit to four months at Snap Fitness.  I tried the treadmill for the first time and realized jogging on it is a lot easier than "in real life".  I suppose not having to propel my tonage forward is the reason why but heck, I'll take it!  It is a start and I can do a minute "running" on that thing with lots of walking between.

Usually the place is empty or has one or two other people there so I feel I can just tottle around and fiddle with the machines etc.  I decided I really like the crunches on the ball too.  I can do 100 of them if I push myself.  Yay!

I didn't go to WW last week.  Had my car in for service and it was done by 2 pm.  Meeting is at 5pm and there is just nothing to do for three hours in this town that doesn't require eating or shopping.  And weather wasn't nice enough to go sit in the park so I went home.  With gas at $4.00 a gallon, an hour long drive has to be considered seriously.

I get kinda' frazzled at the meetings.  Maybe they are all like this but get there at 5 and have to wait for them to set up yet.  I think they should be set up by then and ready to go if they tell you to be there at 5.  No, stand around waiting in this line like cattle to the truck.  Sometimes there are two scales going, sometimes one.  I just feel they should be ready too.

There are times we stand there and stand there and stand there.  Then go sit in the room for 20 minutes waiting.  Why get there at 5 when 5:30 gets one weighed and right into the meeting.  Or even weighed afterward.  Skip all that nerve wracking standing around.  By the time my turn comes I have to pee.

This is one complaint I have.

On a positive note, I bought a cute vinyl Hello Kitty gym bag on eBay for $8.95.  It is coming from Hong Kong but should be here within the next week or two.  Then I can just keep my shoes and entry tag etc. in it in the trunk of my car.  Sometimes I drive by and think "shoot, if I had my stuff..." :).

One of my sporatic co-workers said I am looking good!  Really???  Yay!

First Time Gym Rat

Gads, I never realized how big this shirt was on me.  It was a gift to me from my penpal and it is so comfy though getting a bit ragged.  I wear it to work normally or just around the house.  I think I'd like some nicer workout clothes though.  The bottoms are new, first time wearing them.  Good enough for now but the top has got to change.  :).

And yes, this is me in a fitness center!  Did you know Snap Fitness gives new people a free week trial?  I thought what the heck, if my 70yr old mother can do it so can I.  That and in the past two weeks I gained FOUR pounds!  Enough!  No excuses. 

Today was my first day.  I never did an eliptical before, it is fun but not easy.  I read somewhere that they aren't that good of a workout.  Yah, maybe if one puts it on the easiest and only does it for an hour after two years of doing it but I think it is!  I lasted 6 minutes (my goal!) at 22 and 24.  I did the bike in the weight loss mode for 10 minutes.  I did crunches on the ball, the hip extension thing that does inner and outer thighs and the arm extension thing.  I wrote it all down, the degree, how much time, weight.  Try and keep track of it all.  I didn't want to overdo it either.  But I feel it, I do.

So far...LIKE!

Athena Rant, Sorry I am a FAT Bicyclist!

Thanks all for your kind words about my post a week ago.  It was just a hard day.

I got up the courage and called a bike shop to see if they'd tackle my old Schwinn.  I am so heartbroken that it is in such sorry shape.  The guys threw him in the lower shed and they may as well just left him outside.  I am sick over it.  But they see no value in this thing I love, this thing that was gifted to me for graduation many moons ago.  And yes, a lot of it is sentimentality but hey, I was riding that bike four years ago and have photographs showing it did NOT look this bad! 

The guy on the phone says they won't make him pretty but they could get him usable. 

So I rolled it in yesterday and the guys face sorta' fell.  He said to me "how much do you want to put into it?"

...sigh...

I said ok, tell me if it is even worth it.  So he sorta' fuddled with him, mumbled "needs chain", pulled on the gear shift, toyed with the brakes, pushed around on the derailer etc. and said "do you want to put $100 into it?"  I said yes, I can't buy a new one for that (have you seen the prices of bikes????  I don't pay that much for my cars!).  So he said he'd see what he can do, will call if more comes up.  Gads, maybe I should have just left it at home as a relic and be done with it.  Before I left I said "well, it has sentimental value too" and that he seemed to understand.  But yah, it is hard taking this bike to places who are used to the newest greatest lightest fastest and say please make this useable?  The bike has no real value but to my soul.

So I will ride him this year and decide from there whether to keep on riding him or retire him.  And of course I still have Lucy, my girly girl bike.

But as sour as that all sounds I have to admit I am a little excited to get on that old bike again!  So I am thinking even if I have to put $200 into it I would.  I am really excited! 

So I am looking online for forums in Wisconsin to chat with folks.  There is really not much of anything out there.  Bikeforums won't even load for me it is so busy.  But I scrolled through the html and see there is a forum for "Clydesdales and Athenas" which is bigger riders like me!  Or so I thought.  I can't get it to load so I googled it.  Get this...Athenas are women 150# or over!!!  Talk about a slap in the face!  Wow, even at my NORMAL weight I'd be considered FAT! 

You know, just when you think the world is seeing fat people as people too something like this comes along.  I mean, even Scheels has a tiny plus sized athletic clothing corner!  How can fat people participate if they can't even get decent clothes to do so?  No, we are to be out there in our giant t-shirts, ugly UGLY sweatpants or Mumus until we finally fit their idea of what an Athena looks like?  Give me a BREAK!!!  It is frustrating!

Then I am reading how bikes aren't made to hoist around fat folks.  Well, why not?  Are we just suppose to drive around in our smog muffins until we are light enough to buy that $1000.00 Athena bike?  PUHLEEZ!  Some of us want to be included NOW, without breaking the bank.  Oh well, guess that is the price of being fat.  Maybe I'll start a new division label where anyone who is obese (number doesn't matter, just obese for your height) is included.  Ok, I need a nice name for it...

Debbie Downer...a Year Later

Earth Day colt. End of an era.

Here has been my latest project. Born in the cold wet windy slop we call pasture I dragged  him kicking and screaming across a 40 acre field to the shelter. He is a little slow on the uptake (couldn't stand up on his own, couldn't nurse) but he's starting to get it.  This is my last foal after 19 years.  Husband decided he doesn't like horses, thinks I should get rid of them all because they are taking precious resources from his cows.  So I gelded my stallion last year and this is my one and only foal for this year.  I am now officially done and a lot of sad and angry over it.

Yesterday was a year since my dad passed away.  It has been a rough day all the way around for me.  No one seems to care and that makes me mad too.  I feel like saying to my husband when your dad dies I am going to treat you like you treated me.  Pretending it didn't happen doesn't work!  How far two little words would have gone..."I'm sorry" but I never got that, instead I get "what is up with your dad now?"  Afraid someone will expect something from him.  Oh I am very angry over it all even a year later.

So it has been a hard few days.  I am tired and stressed and the weather has been crap until yesterday.  I took my bike out for a ride to the next road and back. I would have gone farther but I had the dogs with me.  I thought about it and may just go buy a new road bike (or get mine really fixed up) and just put it on the credit card.  I am sick and tired of being broke yet husband has money to waste on cows and farm auctions and BS he then never uses. 

And if I don't have my horses then what in hell do I have?

Sorry this is such a debbie downer post.  I may delete it later...There is no one here I can say this all to without getting the "are you crazy" look or just a blank stare.  Really, does it cost THAT much to say "I am sorry" and give a meaningful hug?

Slower!

I cannot believe I was actually slower this year at the marathon.  Only a couple seconds, pace from 16.41 last year, this year it was 16.43.  I wasn't dying for it to end like I was last year so I guess that is improvement.  Plus I am a year older.  I didn't get a medal this year like last.  There were 6 in my age group (46-50) and I was last...as usual.  Everyone was younger but the fastest who did it in a little over 8 minutes.  But she ran.  I was number 102 of 107. 

It rained in the AM but by the time the results for the 5K were read it dried up.

Argh.

First off, I am SO SICK of snow!!!  Please, turn it off!!!!

Ok, I gained another .6.  I need to get back on the stick so after today I am buckling down and tracking everything. Enough is enough.

I signed up for the Pine Line Marathon this Saturday.  This is the one I did last year the day my dad died.  So I will do it once again.  To rain, to be cold but oh well.  Last year it rained too and the rain hid my tears.

On Sunday I went to Scheels and bought some biking shorts and a really cute "Terry" brand biking top.  Unfortunately it is not cute on me.  It is a bit snug but I will get into it before biking season really starts, right?  And I am going to pretend I look cute in it too, dammit!

Weigh In Tuesday

Our road, washed out after Sunday's storm

Yesterday I worked.  That is exercise enough.  Today I rode my bike several times up and down the road, walked around the pasture three times working on the fence line.  I semi-groomed three horses (they are wet muddy too so not all brushable) which is a lot of work too!  That is enough for today.  Tonight is weigh in.  I'll report when I get back.

I am tired..

Later:  Well, I gained .6.  Oh well, PMS and all the excersize.  Building muscle which weighs more than fat and all that.  Yah, that is it :).

Next week.