Debbie Downer...a Year Later

Earth Day colt. End of an era.

Here has been my latest project. Born in the cold wet windy slop we call pasture I dragged  him kicking and screaming across a 40 acre field to the shelter. He is a little slow on the uptake (couldn't stand up on his own, couldn't nurse) but he's starting to get it.  This is my last foal after 19 years.  Husband decided he doesn't like horses, thinks I should get rid of them all because they are taking precious resources from his cows.  So I gelded my stallion last year and this is my one and only foal for this year.  I am now officially done and a lot of sad and angry over it.

Yesterday was a year since my dad passed away.  It has been a rough day all the way around for me.  No one seems to care and that makes me mad too.  I feel like saying to my husband when your dad dies I am going to treat you like you treated me.  Pretending it didn't happen doesn't work!  How far two little words would have gone..."I'm sorry" but I never got that, instead I get "what is up with your dad now?"  Afraid someone will expect something from him.  Oh I am very angry over it all even a year later.

So it has been a hard few days.  I am tired and stressed and the weather has been crap until yesterday.  I took my bike out for a ride to the next road and back. I would have gone farther but I had the dogs with me.  I thought about it and may just go buy a new road bike (or get mine really fixed up) and just put it on the credit card.  I am sick and tired of being broke yet husband has money to waste on cows and farm auctions and BS he then never uses. 

And if I don't have my horses then what in hell do I have?

Sorry this is such a debbie downer post.  I may delete it later...There is no one here I can say this all to without getting the "are you crazy" look or just a blank stare.  Really, does it cost THAT much to say "I am sorry" and give a meaningful hug?

Slower!

I cannot believe I was actually slower this year at the marathon.  Only a couple seconds, pace from 16.41 last year, this year it was 16.43.  I wasn't dying for it to end like I was last year so I guess that is improvement.  Plus I am a year older.  I didn't get a medal this year like last.  There were 6 in my age group (46-50) and I was last...as usual.  Everyone was younger but the fastest who did it in a little over 8 minutes.  But she ran.  I was number 102 of 107. 

It rained in the AM but by the time the results for the 5K were read it dried up.

Argh.

First off, I am SO SICK of snow!!!  Please, turn it off!!!!

Ok, I gained another .6.  I need to get back on the stick so after today I am buckling down and tracking everything. Enough is enough.

I signed up for the Pine Line Marathon this Saturday.  This is the one I did last year the day my dad died.  So I will do it once again.  To rain, to be cold but oh well.  Last year it rained too and the rain hid my tears.

On Sunday I went to Scheels and bought some biking shorts and a really cute "Terry" brand biking top.  Unfortunately it is not cute on me.  It is a bit snug but I will get into it before biking season really starts, right?  And I am going to pretend I look cute in it too, dammit!

Weigh In Tuesday

Our road, washed out after Sunday's storm

Yesterday I worked.  That is exercise enough.  Today I rode my bike several times up and down the road, walked around the pasture three times working on the fence line.  I semi-groomed three horses (they are wet muddy too so not all brushable) which is a lot of work too!  That is enough for today.  Tonight is weigh in.  I'll report when I get back.

I am tired..

Later:  Well, I gained .6.  Oh well, PMS and all the excersize.  Building muscle which weighs more than fat and all that.  Yah, that is it :).

Next week.

Sunday

Thanks all for the nice words.  I feel good today too, no foot pain at all.  What I did was self-evaluate my feet via my running books I have (Women's Running, The Courage to Start, No Need for Speed), the little I gained at the foot seminar talk thingy and the Dr. Scholls step on machine telling me to use insole number I can't recall. Also, new socks made of wicking materials yet a little cushion.  I DID NOT tape my foot.  I figured it was two miles, see how it went.  It went great, no pain WHATSOEVER!!!

BTW, a panda shot is a self portrait taken of oneself while riding their bike.  It was started on Flickr with a person who called themself "Hurry Panda Kill Kill" who loaded up shots of them on their bicycle. They eventually got known as Panda shots and now it is a common term for such a photo, even found in the biking magazines, etc.  Pretty cool huh?

I took the day off today and did putzy stuff like clean horse tanks, enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the downpour, hail and threat of tornadoes (missed by a few miles thank goodness!).  I also played with my new colored pencils, drawing two little drawings.  Can't decide if I like them yet.

Spring Fling 6/2

Race finish shot

No, I didn't melt while doing the race nor are your eyes going on you.  This is the only shot of me that turned out.  It was so dark and gloomy (but 50's!) that all my shots ended up super dark or blurry.  So when I had time I fuddled around with the camera and took my photo in a truck's mirror that happened to be parked there.

What a great race!  Perfect day, gray but no rain, no wind.  Some were saying they wish there was sun but I said no, better this way because it would heat up quick and be too warm for what we are used to.

I even RAN for about 30 seconds!  NO LIE!!  Too early, next time I'll save it for my finishline shot but still, I was so proud of myself!  And I wasn't LAST!  Grandma with grandchild and lady with dog were behind me!  LOL.  Hey, I'll take it where I can get it.

About 1/3 through I was plenty warmed up, could feel my feet adjust and I felt damn good.  No foot pain at all.  Still none tonight.  Whoot!  Maybe I found my solution for now!

I really felt good and had fun.  I was working at it though.  But this past week's worth of walking and biking I can tell made a difference in my endurance.  Now if only I could kick the asthma.  It kicked up about 1/3 way through but by the last 1/4 or so it calmed down.

My time for 2 miles was 33.03.03.

Friday

Today's panda shot. 
Note horse hair all over my sweatshirt
 which is a "Genuine Dickies" from Walmart.
 T-shirt says "Property of Oredockers Ashland Athletic Dept.)

I picked up some White Lightning bike lube and went over my girly girl bike.  She doesn't squeak anymore and shifts much better if shifting up but not down.   Benjamin has been forgotten about so I suppose I'll wait a bit since the weather is to go south after tomorrow.  70's (!!) and storms on Sunday and then back down to cold and rain.  Blech.  I want SPRING!!

I need to find directions to the Spring Fling tomorrow, print off a coupon for Michaels so I can get myself some fancy schmancy origami paper for my zillions of cranes I am making for donations to Japan relief and plot my day...like get cat, dog and bunny food for the critters.

Tex, playing in the creek

Then this week get THIS (above) dog cleaned up so he can go with me NEXT Saturday on the Robin Return walk.  That is only 20 miles away so I won't be bumming afterward.