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Sunday, February 13, 2011

Skirts, Reality and Fear

Last night I had a dream I was wearing a dress. And liked it!  Me, who hasn't worn anything "girlie" since I got confirmed almost three years ago. I wore a skirt and sweater that I wore to my girlfriend's wedding 16 years ago.  No photos, I was alone, no family or friends, just the church.

One other time I wore a skirt. I have a denim skirt.  I ran away one weekend to home where no one knows me but that is where I spent half my childhood.  Perhaps I should say people know me, relatives, but I'd first have to recognize them and then introduce myself.  Last time most saw me I was 15 or 20 and 130#  :).  Anway, back to the skirt.  I had it made by a woman on eBay and then I wore that puppy in this town and went to the artsy fartsy coffee shop (Yo Black Cat!) and hung with the cool folk, letting my REAL self out!  Well, sorta'.  I probably looked more like one of our local Old Order Mennonites who was breaking the rules a little.  But for me it was pushing the envelope.

Haven't done it since.  Though I think about it.  A lot.  Kinda' like a secretive crossdresser except I'm an artsy hippie stuck in farmer clothes.

It is one reason *bitchcakes* strikes me so. She dresses as her true self.  And she is awesomely beautiful.  I think that right there is freedom.  And after reading Cinny's post today about reality, eh, I am so not there.

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